Excellent Cadavers
"They got it wrong you see, it's not like in the movies. To be born into this kind of life you have to be able to look someone in the eye and shoot without hesitating."
"Can you do that, Luce?"
On New Year's Eve 1974, your life changes forever.
°°
Short List of Prominent Characters
- Dante Greco: the heir of your father's "friend's" rival family. 25 years old. Ruthless, trigger-happy, obsessive and brutal. RO.
- Carmen Greco: the eldest daughter of the rival family who should've been heir. 26 years old. Charming, frivolous, envious and merciless. RO.
- Lazlo Fisher: your father's official heir. Not your brother, almost viewed your father as his, but he never thought of you as family. 21 years old. Kind, strong, tormented and distant. RO.
- Charlotte "Charley" Das: assigned to you to be your bodyguard three years ago. 28 years old. Precise, fair, loyal and protective. RO.
- Samuel/Samantha "Sam" Flight: your fiancé/e.
- "Luce": that's you. 22 years old, almost 23. Normal.
For inquires and general tom-foolery: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/darkfictionjude
Comments
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I really enjoyed this. Can't wait to read more.
Also, is there a way to restart? I can't seem to find a button anywhere. I want to play with different choices and can only 'go back' so far, not enough to change the choices I want.
Loved the update and cannot wait for more! :D
Personally I will Put Dante in my pocket and kidnap him before anyone else can have him :3
Its interesting. Yet also kinda...hard to get to know all these characters sufficiently. I think a bit more time with everyone involved would help immensely to understand the characters and the overall plot better; to truly feel involved as a reader. I was not able to form any kind of connection or strong emotional response while reading -it's the extremely fast pacing of the introductions for me...
It felt like I had way more time with those characters at the beginning than with my own MC and their ROs and I would love to have that ❤️ All of them are quite intriguing in a sense and I really want a proper chance of getting to know them a bit better to really form an opinion of them and as such having a feel for them AS fully fleshed out people.
Right now Im left feeling...a bit puzzled? I dont even have all the names down. Maybe its because we got introduced to a RO, get a tiny intteraction with them and then its immediately a new scene with another character and years later... without much context for me as the reader to fill this gap. If you get what I mean? It kinda felt....too fast.
The action scenes at the end were really good though. And, as I said, Im intruiged with the idea and really want to see how this is going to be. Maybe its intentional that I don't feel attached to any character, maybe it kinda has to be that way and your goal with this story is different than what Im used to. I dont know.
Honestly, I would just love to get more time for each scene, each time jump you did 😭 that Dante scene was kinda cute and could've been milked way more to get the reader to fully invest into this connection. And with that the happenings at the party would've had a greater Impact e.g the fact that this person wants to kill you...?
That whole thing with the almost-spouse? I think it didn't elicit any strong emotion from me, sadly. That whole betrayal-theme wasn't what it could be. Which again is ( for me) the pacing of the story, which felt kinda rushed in regard of getting to know everyone.
I hope I could somehow articulate properly enough what I mean. It's hard to describe what felt amiss and I'm investing all this time into trying to describe it for you and hope it is somehow helpful.
I'm definitely checking this IF regulary and am intruiged to get to read more. The suspense at the end of the current demo was really really good!
So it’s entirely intentional for it to be this fast paced because well it puts you in the head of the MC who is also puzzled at the suddenly change of their life in one second
The way I want to get readers to know the family characters is throughout the flashbacks as those will continue as the chapters go on. They will last longer but I need and wanted chapter 1 to be like a sprint. The ROs will be known more in the present because technically the don’t have such a strong relationship to the MC before that, so the gaps are just those. Gaps in which the ROs and the MC have no significant progress in their relationship to go back to.
Chapter 1 is starting something in the middle, as the chapters go on we’ll start going back and forth between the beginning and the middle for certain characters and events that led to what happens in chapter 1
Okay, cool. Then it's iust something that builds a strong connection over more time with These flashbacks as tools? I think I get it now and I feel silly for having such difficulties to grasp this approach. It's vastly different to what I am used to...
Im autistic and really really struggle with new approaches like these simply because it's done differently than what Im used to read and there are patterns in my head of what is to expect for almost everything... So I tend to over analyze things and over-explaining my difficulties which then results in me repeating myself 'cause in that state Im simply unable to see the whole picture, I just see that irregular occurance that ( in my brain) does not make sense....and that again is often seen as being intentionally too critical...
Sigh. It takes time for me to utilize better coping mechanisms, e.g that simply asking for clarification is often times enough for most situations and can help me to understand what is happening, to then being able to lose those strict concepts in my mind of what I was expecting to happen. It's an all encompassing problem of mine - and again I am rambling and over-explaining 🫠
Im so relieved getting answers without any indication that my ramblings were misread as being rude. Which I really didn't intend to be... So thank you for explaining me what to expect, it helps immensely to be able to fully get the whole picture now. I know most ppl don't struggle with comprehending this IF's concept like I did...so thank you for being patient with me and not drawing any conclusions based on my vastly puzzled if not overstrained input...or at least not voicing it...or accusing me...🙈
I also greatly enjoy your other fic here and love the concept of Crowny. I can relate in so many levels to that character's despicted "weirdness", it's sometimes kinda eerie... I appreciate having the possibility for such a representation, it's so fucking rare. It's not the same as my autism I know, but nontheless I felt, well,...seen.
Again, thank you🙏🏻. Even though I mostly decide to be a silent follower I want you to know that I am grateful that I'm able to read your works. It's such a tough move to post your own stories online and share it with others. I hope I'll be able to do the same one day.
for those that can’t play on mobile just use the desktop site on your browser!
Damn I really wanted to play this demo. Doesn't work on mobile though, or at least Motorola.
yes, I have been made aware of that if you see the comment below yours ;)
Same
It won't play on mobile
well yes and no. It plays on some and not on others. I have yet to find a way to fix it.
First: I love it so far. Two: I see you updating the file content a lot, does that mean actual updates, or corrections, or? Just curious so I know if I should give it another run or can wait!
It’s for the patreon access haha. It’ll be public in a few weeks
lmao, i just realised i hadn't looked at patreon forever, i'm literally subscribed, that's only mildly embarassing
can't wait for an update
Too bad we can't play as non-binary
you can. This is just the prologue. It’s just that to keep the game more aligned with history it will happen in a different way as opposed to the way it is in the 21st century
next update???
likely early 2025
actually wait this is so cool, I'm so excited for the full release!!1!
Very interesting start! Looking forward to more!
bro I see you everywhere, I've started using you as a litmus test of what's good
aww thanks! hope you enjoy some of the ones I do!
The box to enter the name isn't visible plus when i choose any other name from the list only half the text is visible
I am unable to enter another name in the game. The input box appears behind the header